Free Angel Graphics - I wrote this short story recently and it's my favorite one and I'm looking for opinions?

I wrote this short story recently and it's my favorite one and I'm looking for opinions?

The Lips of a Killer By: John Houlihan Inspired by the art of robbery and the never ending love of Bonnie and Clyde. The wind blew her red, shining hair as the car sped down the empty highway. Her beauty was of an angel, but what he loved about her the most; her soul was of Satan himself...the lust to kill made him love her even more. Her eyes were as blue as the oceans of Ireland, even when they are widened with the proficiency and sinful art of murder at her hands he can never look away. Her lips as red as the blood that would coat her hands after killing an innocent, but as lushful as a rose full of morning dew. Their love would live through all eternity and no one could break their chain of endless passion for one another. She ran her fingers threw her hair as she admired the jet black Beretta that rested gently on the dashboard. Picking it up she felt the coldness of the handle, and the surge of power it sent through her body. As she set it back down, she looked at him sitting behind the wheel of the white corvette, his big brown eyes concentrated on the road ahead. But they looked more concentrated then usual, she knew he was anxious to get to their destination, he was anxious to kill. She rubbed her finger across his cheek, and then through his short black hair; a smile drew across his face as he gave a quick glance at her and rested his hand on her leg. The white corvette's speed increased as it passed a large sign stating : Affluent City next Right Five minutes passed until the site of the edge of the small, urban town came into view. She smirked as she said, "How many you think live in this pathetic town." "Not many, probably around ninty or a hundred." "Where are we gonna do this?" "The bank, make it look like a robbery." "Great, we can get a few bucks out of this." As the car made it to the main street they continued own until they reached the stale, grey building which stated in large black letters County Bank. The car slowed as it reached the front of the bank, "This one," he said. The car continued slowly to the parking lot across the street, they didn't need a getaway car...they wanted the police to come. As they found an empty spot, the engine went from a loud mechanical noise to a low hum until it stopped and began to cool down. She reached into the glove compartment and took out a clean, black ski mask and slipped it on over her head. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a old, torn black ski mask as well, unlike hers his mask only showed his eyes. "Why don't you by a new one, that shitty thing makes us look unproffesional.....and it smells like moth balls," she said taking it out of his hands. "Hey...I've had this thing since the Troubles, we irish republicans take pride in our diminutive possessions," he stated proudly snatching it back out of her hands. "Trust me, I know...if only you knew my father before the Tans got 'em," she vexed as she took the Beretta off the dashboard and twisted a long silencer barrel on the front of it. He reached into the same compartment and took out a silver, barreled Desert Eagle and took it out slowly as it sparkled from the early morning sun. He took a silver silencer barrel out of his back pocket and twisted it until a click signified it's fit. "Are you ready." "Yeah." "I love you. "I love you, too." He leaned over and before tasting her beautiful lips, he took a smell of her gorgeous perfume that matched the essence of her love. Slowly he kissed her, feeling her smooth skin of her red lips, as she slipped her tongue into his mouth and it massaged the top of his lip. "Let's go kill," she said as she receded, and locked a clip into her Beretta. He took the clip and squeezed small silver bullets into the clip until it was full then locked the clip into the monstorous pistol. Simultaneously the doors opened of the corvette opened, and closed with a loud thud one after the other, as he put his arm around her when they met in the front of the car and walked together into the bank. She opened the double glass doors, and retrieved from her pocket a Peroxide coated cloth and a seven inch bladed pocket knife. Leisurely she creeped up behind the guard, and quickly covered his mouth and nose with the cloth. At first he put up a struggle to reach for his gun, but she shoved the knife into his spine and twisted it as she took it out and followed the motion two more times causing the guard to fall to the ground. Unknowing the five bankers continued to sign off checks, give money to the customers, and take money in a deposit. The six customers waited in line to talk to a banker, filled out withdrawal papers in the corner, and awaited in soft, cushioned chairs to talk executives. He walked into the center of the room, and finally a young banker noticed the dead guard and she let out a holler, followed by the screams until he shot two silent shots into the ceiling. "Hey, all of you calm the fuck down until I blow each and one of your cocksucking brains all over the floor," he screamed walking around pointing the gun at each person's head he passed. He walked over to the first banker on the right. An over weight man, in his forties, and definetly a diabetic. He pressed the gun against the glass, "Open the fuckin' door." A buzz noise sounded as the door opened to the back room, and he made his way in while never taking his eyes of the overweight man. As he entered the room he noticed a pin on the overweight man's business jacket, it was a flag of the Union Jack. "What the fuck is this." "W-what, sir." "This fuckin' pin on your shirt." "I-it's a B-British flag sir, my family is of British d-descent." "This morning when you put this on your fuckin' jacket...you made the biggest mistake of your life my friend," he stated as he grabbed the handle of the gun and began beating in the nose of the banker. Screams from the other bankers, as blood began to splatter on the closest bankers shirt. He threw the overweight man to the ground and silenced his gurgled coughing with three shots into his stomach. Then he walked up to the next banker, a young girl probably in her late twenties, long blonde hair, and stale blue eyes. He pointed the gun to her head, "You take me to the vault, you three get in the lobby...now!" She slowly walked over to the opened vault, and brought him inside and began quickly emptying the thirty silver boxes into a large bag. As she got to the last box and handed him the bag, he winked at her, "Thanks, darling," squeezing the trigger shooting her in the forehead. He gave a look around the vault one more time, and made his way back into the bank tellers offices, them into the lobby. He stopped, he frowned and then slowly smiled. "Are you alright," She stood there blood all over her hands up to her wrists, blood patches staind her bell bottom jeans, in her hand the blade coated in a thick layer of blood. The Beretta lay empty on the carpet, along side all the bodies of the customers, and the three bankers who he had told to enter the lobby. He walked over to her, and put his arms around her as she began to fall to the ground. Her body shook in anxiety and adrenaline, he held her as they sat on the ground, gently stroaking her hair. "It was too easy," she said as she stood. "Come on let's get out of here," he was drowned out by the sound of sirens. Two cop cars pulled up in front of the bank, and out of both cars four police officers pointed their guns at the door. "I'll deal with these pigs, you cover me," she said taking off her ski mask. As the double doors opened, she slowly limped out the door and the cops eased their guns back. She limped to about the edge of the sidewalk before two of the cops slowly came over to her aid. "Help me, they killed my husband...they killed every one help," she hollered. Two of the cops made it over to her, one put his hand on her back and the other wrapped his arm around her helping her over to the cruiser. She felt the sturdy, wood of the blades' handle and thrusted it forward into the throat of the cop with the arm around her back, then brought it back and sliced across the other cops' neck. The two other cops hollered and opened fire as she dove behind the cruiser of the two dead cops. The double door of the bank swung open, he opened fire and hit the first unaware cop in the arm then in the head, the second cop turned to fire on him but was too late as he emptied the clip into his torso. He ran over to her, helped her up as they made their way to the corvette. Sirens in the opposite streets could be heard as they got closer, as they sat into the car. He placed the Desert Eagle back into the glove compartment, and she did the same with her Beretta. As she placed the Beretta into the compartment, she retrieved a cloth to clean her hands and pants. The wheels of the corvette screached as he backed out of the parking lot and into the streets of Affluent. Turning the tight corners of the small streets until they finally were back on the empty highway again. Back at the Bank, a cop crawled over to the cruised and grabbed the transmitter, "B-14....B-14, four officers down...County Bank. Shooters in white corvette, one female red hair, blue eyes. One male, black hair, brown eyes. Heading in the direction of the highway, road block....road block the county line. Send Paramedics....County Bank." The corvette sped down the highway, the sound of the black tires on the smooth, flat surface hummed softly. She cleaned her hands and tossed the rag out the window, again she looked over at him. He took his eyes off the narrow road and looked at her, "Ta tu alainn," he murmured to her as their lips met once again. She pushed him off her, "Watch the road." He laughed and continued to floor the pedal, accelerating the car to it's top speed. An hour went by as the sun got lower in the sky and the time reached noon. The car kept at a steady rate, she slept calmly in the passengers' seat, and the classic rock of Creedence Clearwater Revival played, quietly on the radio as he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. They came to tight turn and as they turned in front of them was a long stretched road. As the road got shorter and shorter from the speed of the car, he noticed the flash of lights. Red and blue, flashing and as the car neared them he took his foot off the accelerator until the car came to a complete stop. He flicked off the radio, tapped her gently on the shoulder and led his hand down her side to her leg, as she opened her eyes softly, she noticed the flashing of the lights. He sighed, and looked at her, she looked at him. For a moment it was as if neither of them had a care in the world, it was just them two together...in love. "You sure you want to do this?" "Yeah, we gave it a good run." "I love you." "I love you, too." She reached under the seat and took out a black barreled, brown butted shotgun. He turned to the back seat and picked up Heckler MP5 submachine gun, and pulled back the chamber and loaded the clip. He took off his jacket and wrapped it around the left side of her shoulder. Still having it on the right side of his shoulder they both got out of the car together. The jacket covered his right arm where he held the submachine gun, and the jacket covered her left arm where she held the shotgun. As they made their way to the road block she started to limp, "We give up! The cops back at Affluent shot her, we give up," he hollered as they slowly walked forward. "Wait until I drop the jacket," she whispered. They got closer and closer until they were about three car distances away, then they stopped. The cops who were at the road block continued to point their guns in their direction. Suddenly the jacket dropped, she stood up from the limp and opened fire on the police, her first shot hit a cop in the face. He also opened fire on the police, immediately the quick fire of the machine gun took out two police officers. The cops had also opened fire as soon as they spotted the shotgun she was wielding, erupts of over twenty guns echoed throughout the highway. A bullet struck her in the chest sending her onto one knee but she kept on firing, taking down another cop. One grazed his throat, he ignored the stinging pain, and stood tall firing at the mass of police. She got shot in the stomach than in the leg, and once more into the left breast sending her to the ground. He hollered in anger and became more precise in accuracy taking down three more cops, until he was struck in the stomach three times, than in the chest bringing him to a kneel. He kept firing and picked up her shotgun shooting both strong guns, the pressure from the gun pushed him...trying to keep his balance he continued to fire in rage. A shot pierced his throat as he fell back onto the ground next to her. He kept his finger on the submachine gun's trigger firing blindly as he lay next to his gorgeous maiden. He muscled up the strength to lean face to face with her, gazing into her eyes one last time, he pushed himself forward and their lips met, the taste of her lips was gone now the taste was cold and stale but he would never forget how they once tasted the lips of a killer.

Public Comments

publishment my nigga thats best seller shtuff right der ill be your #1 fan when you are famous
T.T love the story can't wait to tell all my friends about it.you deserve a star
thats absolutely fantastic!!!!!!! lol if thats your favourite (its excellent) then i'ld luv to hear what the other ones are 'cause im sure they'ld all be just as great
That was beautiful! I wish I could write with such sophistication and detail. Your writing is so.......so, I can't even explain it. It gives me such a feeling that I don't have the words to explain the feeling. When I read your story I was on the edge, wondering what was to happen next. You have talent and I believe you should most definitely get this published.
catching story - but you should go over it again for orthography and the like.
I love the descriptions and vivid imagery that it produces. Your writing style is great.
So well written! Loved it! Star
no way
no doubt you are good in what you have now. r u sure that u r just an amatuer? keep going and one day u'll be famous.